Jake’s take: the imprisonment of senior options

Jake Arlow, Staff Writer

Second semester has begun, and for all seniors this means that graduation, and therefore sweet freedom, is fast approaching. However, there is one remaining task that all of us must accomplish before this time arrives: senior experience.  It’s something we hear about all throughout high school.  Talk ranges from hushed rumors of awesome projects to the panic of not knowing what senior experience even is.

Although proposals were due a while ago, I thought I’d suggest some ideas for seniors who are a little late to the “party” (I use that word lightly), and for underclassmen, who are absolutely free to use my suggestions for their projects in the coming years.  My first recommendation is one that requires not only fluency in hieroglyphics, but also a large breadth of knowledge of the history of space travel. I can sum it up in one word: aliens. Why are there crop circles?  Were the ancient Egyptians skilled architects, or more plausibly, were they instructed by a superior extraterrestrial being?  I would suggest choosing the late Alan F. Alford, notorious alien theorist, as your mentor if you embark on this project.

Not your cup of tea?  Well here’s a project that a real (and currently living) Schreiber student is completing this year: “I’m working with Mr. Block and friends to make a movie of largish scale,” said senior Gabe Lyons. “We’re still early in the process, and will be developing it over the next few weeks.”  Nothing can make a person feel inadequate like a peer making an actual movie.

Here’s another suggestion, though I must warn you, it is not for the faint of heart.  While some students may settle for shadowing their pediatrician or volunteering at a hospital, a truly great Senior Experiencer (it is now a verb) will shadow a heart surgeon who is in the midst of performing emergency open heart surgery.  Not only will the lifeblood of a dying human moisten your freshly donned scrubs, but you will also get real-world experience in anatomy, and learn how to better yourself in high-pressure situations, or at least that’s what you can write on your resume.

If your project is something along the lines of “sit on couch, write stuff down, have mentor sign papers,” you may need another suggestion, and luckily I have one.  It’s an idea I call “Living Diorama.”  We all know how exciting making a shoe box diorama of the Civil War can be—not exciting at all.  That’s why this project is perfect.  All you need are willing friends, costumes, a background, and some props.  Pick your favorite moment in history (or in the future if you are psychic) and sketch a scene.  Then, set the stage with props and your costumed friends, and have them stand there completely still for 4 or 5 hours while people mill around and gaze in wonder at your giant diorama.  If one of the living prop pieces (a.k.a. your friend) has to go to the bathroom, stare at them until the urge passes, because that would ruin the magic of your senior experience.

With these suggestions, and the inspiration from your peers, you will be able to create a dazzling and exciting senior experience.  Then, and only then, will you be able to graduate high school and experience your life to the fullest.