The infectious illness of Senioritis spreads across the Class of 2015


Senior Mark Livshin dozes off in class as Senior Ian Chu playfully poses beside him.

Jake Arlow, Staff Writer

It can manifest itself in the raucous cries of “seenyaaas” in the hallway, or in the blasé teenagers with their feet on desks looking like perfect pictures of apathy, or even in the decadent, chemical-tasting icing atop a college cake: it’s Senioritis.

What is Senioritis?  It’s a very serious disease that can strike anyone at any time, although the most common time period of diagnosis is during second semester of a patient’s senior year.  The name can be broken down into two parts, “senior” and “itis.”  “Senior” implies that the afflicted person is or feels like they are in their fourth and final year of high school, and “itis” is a suffix meaning inflammation, as in an inflamed sense of ego.

The symptoms of Senioritis vary in type and intensity.  They range from going for ice cream on a school night to not showing up for school for four days in a row just because you didn’t feel like it.

“At this point, Senioritis has left me with just enough motivation to eat regularly,” said senior Olivia Mann, one of the more severely affected students.

This response is not uncommon, as lack of motivation is a frequent symptom. A good way to alleviate lack of motivation  is to focus on the nature of senior year, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

One of the lesser known symptoms of Senioritis is memory loss.  This can cause victims to forget due dates.

Senior Jina Lay, a student with possibly the worst case of Senioritis-driven memory loss in the school, asked “Wait…we have a school newspaper?” even though she has read every issue of the newspaper since freshman year.  The memory loss can be alarming at times.

“I lost my parents to Senioritis during the blizzard of ‘86,” said senior Eric Adsetts, who has such a bad case of Senioritis he is incapable of remembering or understanding basic weather patterns or chronology.

If you believe that you or a friend has Senioritis, please consult a doctor or teacher.  As of right now, modern medicine has not found a cure for this disease, though there is one treatment that is effective in nearly all cases: graduation.  Anyone suffering from Senioritis is urged to pursue this option during their senior year, as it is relatively painless compared to the four years of hard work it takes to make graduation a treatment option.