Quacking up with Kwak

Bethia Kwak, A&E Editor Emeritus

Well, this is it fellow Quackers. The day has come when I finally say good-bye.

In all seriousness (try not to barf), I want to express my thanks to everyone. This column came as an article idea to me at first when I wanted to comment on how Hollywood has become “awkward.” However, more ideas kept coming to me and the positive feedback that I received urged me to continue with “Quacking up with Kwak.”

I do apologize for not writing the past few months. I have been living the hard, grueling and busy life of a second semester senior. There is a lot of nothing to be done.

As most of you might know, and as some of you have made a point to tell me I was wrong, Jersey Shore is coming back for a sixth season! I was brushing my hair when I read the news bulletin on the bottom of my TV screen. I screamed and dropped my hair brush on my foot.

My mom ran into the room and was concerned to see me screaming while bleeding, but then she saw what I was reading on the TV screen and walked back into her room to get ready for “couple’s yoga.” It’s a new thing my parents are doing. Better than the “couple’s salsa” phase back when I was in elementary school. My parents and dancing just do not mesh.

But back to my favorite guidos and guidettes and gorilla juiceheads. (Honestly, does that sound attractive to anyone? I still don’t get why good looking guys are called “gorilla juiceheads.”) I was pretty disappointed with the Pauly D Project. I do not want to watch Pauly D walking around with his bland friends. Where is Vinny?

I have high hopes for the new show, Snooki & JWoww, featuring my best friend Nicole. I swear we’re friends. I can’t wait to be the godmother to her child. Is this getting too creepy? Okay, I’ll stop.

Whether I take “Quacking Up With Kwak” with me is up for debate. But rest assured, you all will see me, again. The “Get Bethia Famous Foundation” has raised a whopping $10.34 cents its founding.

And who knows? This might not be the end of humor and fun in The Schreiber Times (Ha, probably the best joke I wrote this entire year). Maybe one of you is reading this right now thinking, “Hey, maybe I’ll take over Quacking Up With Kwak.”

First of all, that is copyright infringement. Second of all, none of you are as funny as I am.

Thank you and keep quackin’.