Happy halal-idays!

Daniel Bidikov, Editor-in-Chief

Life is sad, and hard.  College is expensive and difficult to get into, a majority of marriages do not last, a lot of people live below the poverty line.  Where are we supposed to find solace?  Where are all of the fascinating, enjoyable experiences that are supposed to surround us?

Your parents will tell you that there is existential value in starting a family and undertaking several hobbies.  But there is a shortcut in the pursuit of happiness—you take a right onto Northern Boulevard and keep driving for fifteen minutes.

When you arrive at your destination you will find a fountain of chicken and rice, youth and happiness.  It is the Bayside Halal cart, and it offers justification for life at $6 or less.

The cart sits across from a White Castle and next to a CVS.  Manning the operation is one of several friendly ethnic men combining pure satisfaction with meat of questionable origin.

It is hard to believe that such a basic resource can offer such satisfaction.  Rest assured, though, the customers of the cart are always satisfied.  Some of these customers are Schreiber students, and all of them have only positive things to say about the impact of Halal food on their being.

“Halal is good and I like it, and it rhymes with my name,” said senior Arjuna Lal.  Eloquently put, Arjuna!

The power of Halal transcends generational gaps.  Senior Brian Sims recently gave the gift of Halal to his father, accomplished dentist Bruce Sims, DDS.  It was positively received—“spicy, but delicious,” said Dr. Sims.

Somehow, that rich combination of white and hot sauces can appeal to the heart in more ways than a possible cardiac arrest.  People have an even deeper relationship with the Americanized cuisine of the Middle East.  Senior Eric Wolf, easily considered the number one local Halalgoer, has been marked deeply by the religiously safe seal of that pleasantly salty chicken over rice.  He has been over 100 times, finding satisfaction both in the food and the experience.

“The Halal guy says great stuff,” said Wolf, “he gives me helpful advice—‘Drive sober and don’t get pulled over!’  And once he asked me to hang out.”

So there is not just fried food but friendship to be found in Bayside.  Or is there?

“I said ‘no’,” said Wolf, “it’s weird.”