The weather this season has seemed like a roller coaster. One day it is in the mid-forties, the next, below twenty.
The significantly low numbers, reaching as low as five degrees, are the most intimidating; whether being warned by meteorologists or nagged by our parents, we have been well aware that these temperatures are extreme. Precautions must be taken in order to avoid the potential dangerous effects of the freezing weather.
The prolonged cold can lend itself to a winter wonderland of snow and ice. However, the sudden and random spikes in temperature melt everything before more snow can stick. All in all, this weather has not been too enjoyable.
Starting a fire would get things heated up quickly. Go ahead and burn your old notes from that class freshman year you hated so much; do not worry, you are not going to need them again. A raging fire that was created by the pages of paper you hated so much will make you feel even warmer than a normal, non-angst fed one.
While you have a nice fire going in the background, make a pillow fort. Everyone made at least one of these as a kid, so don’t even try to say you’re better than that. Pillow forts are cozy and warm, and since you’re a bigger kid than the last time you built one, think of how awesome this one could be.
You are probably not going to want to get out of your pillow fort once it is been built, but there are other warm things outside of it. Go to your kitchen. Find a sturdy thermos. Grab some hot chocolate mix. Maybe even use two bags this time because you are worth it. Make the hottest hot chocolate you’ve ever made. Consume it in large quantities. Repeat.
After you have made enough hot chocolate to make your pillow fort float, hunt down the thirty or so bar/bat mitzvah sweatshirts you have tucked away in your closet. By layering them on top of each other, you will look like the popular abominable snowman, but at least you will not be frozen.
Now, say you don’t feel like doing all of this. Maybe you hate fires. Maybe you do not have a soul. There are other ways to prevent you from feeling like a block of ice. Another alternative would be to go exercise. It is never too early to work on that Speedo body. Lift some weights, so if someone asks you “do you even lift, bro?” you can confidently answer “yes.” Running is also a great way to up your body temperature, and is something anyone can do. Work off that hot chocolate!
If you want to leave the house, a surefire way to stay warm would be to go make friends with the Dunkin guys. You can try to get them to give you free hot drinks. Maybe it will work, maybe it will not, but it has to be worth a try.
If you go out, whether it is to Dunkin or not, wear a balaclava. You know, the things that bank robbers wear on their faces to conceal their identities. Balaclavas look silly, but so does frostbite. Plus, the looks you’ll get will be well worth it.
There are plenty more ways to keep warm during these cold winters months. Some are a little ridiculous, such as finding Channing Tatum and cuddling up with him or raging as hard as possible. Others are humdrum, like throwing your clothes in a dryer to warm them up or eating spicy foods. Whatever you decide to do, have fun with it and stay warm.
Now say you do not feel like doing all of this. Maybe you hate fires. Maybe you do not have a soul. There are other ways to prevent you from feeling like a block of ice. Another alternative would be to go exercise. It is never too early to work on that speedo body. Lift some weights, so if someone asks you “do you even lift, bro?” you can confidently answer “yes.” Running is also a great way to up your body temperature, and is something anyone can do. Work off that hot chocolate!
If you want to leave the house, a surefire way to stay warm would be to go make friends with the Dunkin guys. You can try to get them to give you free hot drinks. Maybe it will work, maybe it will not, but it has got to be worth a try.
If you go out, whether it is to Dunkin or not, wear a balaclava. You know, the things that bank robbers wear on their faces to conceal their identities. Balaclavas look silly, but so does frostbite. Plus, the looks you will get will be well worth it.
There are plenty more ways to keep warm during these cold winters months. Some are a little ridiculous, such as finding Channing Tatum and cuddling up with him or raging as hard as possible. Others are humdrum, like throwing your clothes in a dryer to warm them up or eating spicy foods. Whatever you decide to do, have fun with it and stay warm.