Jake’s Take: Short Shorts

Jake Arlow, Staff Writer

May is a time of change—AP classes are over, the school year is coming to a close, and the weather gets warmer. The rising temperatures have many effects on the school, from the social studies wing with its oppressive heat, to the oddly freezing left-hand side of the A and B wings. The strangest effect of the temperature is the changing clothing.

It seemingly happens overnight; one day you’re wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and the next day you’re still wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but the rest of the school is wearing shorts and you feel confused and out of place. I apparently never get the memo about annual “Stop Wearing Pants, Jake” day. Eventually I make the switch over, but there is some lag time. The beauty of Schreiber is that we are allowed to wear these short shorts, tank tops, and whatever else we please.

“At least we’re not at Weber,” said senior Sarah Sigman.

Weber’s oppressive clothing regime is something many high schoolers keep in mind as we wear short shorts for the first time each year. I put my shorts on one leg at a time, just like all of you, and like all of you, when I first put my shorts on I look in the mirror and maniacally laugh while thinking about Weber.

It’s not only girls who change their pant length.

“The longer the days, the shorter the shorts,” said senior Jina Lay. “I’m talking about the boys. Those Chubbies are disturbing.”

Chubbies are the new thigh-exposing men’s shorts trend. I believe boys should be able to wear whatever length shorts they want, as should girls and anyone else. If girls are allowed to wear short shorts, boys should be too. One student has taken this trend a step further.

“As soon as May 1 comes around I can’t help but break out the loincloth,” said senior Eric Adsetts.

I still do not retract my statement about shorts length, but perhaps a loincloth has taken the trend too far, but who knows, maybe that’ll be the new trend next year. (I sincerely hope not.)

For me, there is also another clothing-related issue that stems from the warmer weather: open-toed shoes. It’s not the pale skin on my feet or my oddly long toes that give me qualms about sandals—it’s sweat. I’m sure some other people also have this problem. Most people probably owned a pair of Crocs in elementary school. Well, Crocs are made of rubber, which is a great feature for doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff who need the non-slip shoe, but for everyone else, when it is very warm outside and feet start to sweat, the rubber has the opposite effect: your feet slide and it’s super uncomfortable.

I’m using the second person you/your in the hopes that people reading this article will think other people have the same problem as I do.

The warm weather can cause many problems for Schreiber students (me), from not knowing the appropriate time to switch to a summer wardrobe (me), to having an open-toed shoe dilemma (me), but it is also a blessing, because it means school is coming to a close, and we are one step closer to going through this all again next year.