Demystifying the mystery behind disappearing socks

Julia Bischoff, Features Editor

Many times, our laundry confuses us – well, to be more precise, it’s the mysterious location of our laundry that bewilders us. We’ve all experienced those times when our laundry seemingly goes on a long hiatus before it finds itself back in our dresser.  How many times have you put in two socks in the laundry, but was only able to find one?

How could this have happened?  Where in the journey to cleanliness did it all go wrong?

There can only be one possibility: the sock goblin.  For those who don’t know, this sneak and inconsiderate creature can take many different forms. Maybe it’s your sibling who has yet to learn how to properly wash clothing; maybe it’s your hungry dog who decided it was time to be extra rebellious; maybe it’s your grandma who just doesn’t know how to buy her own clothes.

If you’re missing your one true pair of socks, you need to get to the bottom of this. 

The first step to laundry security is retracing the path of your dirty clothes.  It is quite probable that your parents do your wash.  Every week, they take your bin and haul it over to your sock goblin’s haven, also known as the laundry room.  

Before your clothes get to experience this transformation from dirty to clean, they are sorted into a few different categories: whites/lights, colors, warm, or cold water.  Keep in mind: it is precisely this sorting process when your laundry is most vulnerable to the sock goblin.  

If all goes well, and perhaps your sock goblin is on vacation, the clothing will then return to your dresser clean, neatly folded and fresh.

If you fear for the safety of your prized shirts, socks, and other articles of clothing, it would be in your best interests to accompany them on this journey — be a “helicopter washer.” 

Get as hands on as you can and try just doing your laundry yourself!  Within just a few weeks of doing your own laundry, you’ll find that the sock goblin attacks have significantly decreased.  So good luck and stay vigilant!