Every December comes with holiday wishlists, endless online sales, and dazzling storefront displays.  The relentless holiday consumerism reminds us that this is the season of gifts.  People can be misled into believing that the meaning of the holidays is based on buying the perfect presents, but the truth is more complicated. 

While it’s hard to ignore the hyper-marketed gift trade of the holiday season, try to think about the difference between a gift itself and the act of giving.  A more significant question comes to light: Is the act of giving a gift better than the present itself?

“The act of giving shows how the person who got you the gift really cares about you,” said sophomore Gabe Nash.

Gift-giving requires attention and genuine thought about how to tailor a present to a specific recipient.  When someone receives a gift that is personalized to them, such as a handmade card, the actual gesture is taken to heart, as opposed to the object itself.  Without heartfelt intention, the act of giving gifts is just an empty action.

“The act of giving is more important because it’s the thought that counts,” said sophomore Leo Raber.

A sincere gift carries more weight in today’s world than ever.  People are constantly preoccupied, distracted, and overwhelmed.  The holidays give time for someone to slow down, think about the people around them, and show them gratitude by picking out a heartfelt gift.

Thinking about meaningful gifts, it’s usually the ones that are linked to powerful emotions that resonate with us. A present given with a sense of consideration is more meaningful than one given without a second thought. We remember how someone made us feel recognized and valued.

On the other hand, we can’t pretend that the physical gift never matters.  A present from the heart can significantly strengthen the connection between a gift-giver and receiver.  Gifts are often treasured because of their thoughtfulness and because of the bonds that they forge.

The problem is that the pressure of expectations of the holiday season forces people to buy something, anything, so that the physical gift is prioritized and the actual meaning behind it is lost.  When gift-giving becomes a chore instead of a thoughtful process, the gesture loses its meaning.  Gift-receivers can end up with a generic gift.  The present fills the social requirement, but is merely transactional, instead of authentic.

“The act of giving is more important because it just feels really good to give and make someone else happy,” said sophomore Ryan Rubel.

However, this process works the other way around as well. Gift-giving can turn into a competition, where the present becomes less about the meaning and more about the highest price tag or most well-known brand.  A game of ‘can you top this?’ erases the joy of giving presents and replaces it with stress.  Gift-buyers can feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed with the number of gifts that need to be bought and the financial burden that comes with buying so many presents.  Gift-receivers can also feel guilty, rather than grateful, if given a present that is way out of the buyer’s price range.

In addition, it’s common for peers to compare what they got for the holidays, which can lead to uncomfortable feelings about the amount or types of gifts received.  Feeling bad about presents completely misses the point of gift exchanges during the holidays.

As another holiday season approaches, it’s important to ask ourselves: what do we truly want to give the people we care about? Are we buying them something out of obligation, to check off a list, or a real moment of connection? 

The holidays give us an opportunity to recognize the people that make a difference in our lives, and giving a gift can perfectly capture that acknowledgement.  If the gift reflects care, it’s a good one.  When we focus on that, the pressure and stress of gift-giving fade, and real meaning returns.

In reality, neither the act of gift-giving nor the physical object can produce a meaningful outcome on its own.  A good gift requires both: the thought process behind the gift-giving and the present itself that expresses those thoughts. Without meaning behind them, objects are insincere.  Without a physical presence, an intention becomes abstract.